Traveling Fool

This past weekend, for the first time since going on program (I can't really think of another way of putting it) we had to travel. Yep. Hotels, restaurants, extended family, and many, many miles in the car with potty stops winding us through rows of convenience store shit-food aisles just to pee. Four big days touring Temptation Nation. For a funeral. And a birthday. *sigh*

No matter how much I can try to prepare, no matter how much I battle, without the involvement of the entire tribe, we're gonna go off program. And its going to suck. And family is going to judge and claim to your face that they aren't. And Slim is going to bust a bottle of beer on a curb in the cemetery in front of family friends and I'm gonna want to go ahead and take a dirt nap right there. I mean literally, I was two feet from my spot in the family plot.

And it's all going to happen while I am trying to mourn my father, support my mother, deal with my sisters, and the feeling that I have to plan it all because no one else will ever step up to the plate. And family before you start saying its not true, I ask you, what did you bring to the service?

Don't forget to throw it altogether into the mixing bowl of my hometown, which frankly depresses the shit out of me. Especially since I didn't have time to see any of my old friends that live there and that's the only damned thing that makes that hell hole palatable.

See everyone feels so bad for Slim that they all want to find him something he can have, even though none of what they got for him, including me, was on program at all. Right now, we can not have any sugars. Period. That means no fruit. Sorry. It just does. Doesn't saving his life suck? Yep.

So I start thinking. Slim's Grandma's birthday is this weekend. Someone's going to be baking a cake. Slim cannot have cake. So what do I do, I make him cookies. (These cookies contain bananas and apples, but everything else in them is currently on program.) Yep. I bake them in secret on Thursday. And then Slim's Meme (his other grandmother) buys him dehydrated fruit chips for snacks. And Daddy goes to Grandma's birthday, but when the cake comes out, he takes Slim to his aunt's house so that he doesn't have to watch everyone eat cake. But then he comes back over and gives Slim a piece "without frosting" because he feels bad.

And Slim, he enjoyed forbidden fruit all weekend because the adults in his life have guilt issues.